Maybe This Will Save Me

Maybe This Will Save Me by Tommy Dorfman is a memoir that is at times heartbreaking, at times hopeful, but always reads as an honest look at her life.

For years, Tommy Dorfman turned her back on her thoughts and emotions, hoping they’d simply go away.

After a lifetime of confusion, she finally gained clarity around her gender and began to transition.

But there were still parts of herself she’d locked away, elements of her story that she needed, for the first time, to fully confront.

Maybe This Will Save Me is Tommy's story, told the cards of that tarot pull. For the first time, she opens up about: growing up the youngest of five children while grappling with her identity; the turbulent she spent as a teenager, numbed by drugs and alcohol; her early aspirations of stardom and the hard fought path she forged to get there;  the long night that led her to finally seek treatment for addiction; her breakout role in 13 Reason Why; the relationships that shaped her.

Dorfman, Tommy. (2025). Maybe This Will Save Me. Toronto: Hanover Square.

Family Style: Memories of an American from Vietnam

Family Style: Memories of an American from Vietnam by Thien Pham is a beautiful telling of a family's journey to a new home.

Thien's first memory isn't a sight or a sound. It's the sweetness of watermelon and the saltiness of fish. It's the taste of the foods he ate while adrift at sea as his family fled Vietnam.

After the Pham family arrives at a refugee camp in Thailand, they struggle to survive. Things don't get much easier once they resettle in California. And through each chapter of their lives, food takes on a new meaning. Strawberries come to signify struggle as Thien's mom and dad look for work. Potato chips are an indulgence that bring Thien so much joy that they become a necessity.

Behind every cut of steak and inside every croissant lies a story. And for Thien Pham, that story is about a search—for belonging, for happiness, for the American dream.

Pham, Thien. (2023). Family Style. New York: First Second.

Zeitoun

Zeitoun by Dave Eggers is the true story of one family's experiences in and around Hurricane Katrina.

Nola residents Kathy and Abdulrahman Zeitoun own and run a construction and painting company. They are known as good neighbors and loving parts of Syrian Muslim community. 

When the news starts talking of a storm headed toward New Orleans, Kathy decides to take the children to a relative's house farther inland. Zeitoun stays to watch the house and be available for their customers' needs. 

After weathering the storm with some leaks, water starts slowly flooding in. Zeitoun moves everything he can upstairs to keep it dry. He takes a used canoe out of the garage and ties it to the from porch. 

After the flooding, Zeitoun uses his canoe to search for people who need help. He finds one of their buildings that still have phone services and keeps in touch with Kathy. 

Then random police from all over the country arrive, volunteering to "protect the city" from looters. Zeitoun, his building tenant, an acquaintance from their mosque, and a stranger are all arrested. Having identification showing that be belongs has no effect. 

What follows is one of the failures of FEMA and law enforcement. Read this book. It is important to see what really goes on in times of chaos. 

Eggers, Dave. (2009). Zeitoun. New York: McSweeny's Books.

Into the Planet: My Life as a Cave Diver

Into the Planet: My Life as a Cave Diver by Jill Heinerth is a spooky exploration into the most dangerous thing you can do on Earth!

I have always been equal parts fascinated and scared of caves. Imaging exploring on underwater!

From Penguin Random House:

As one of the most celebrated cave divers in the world, Jill Heinerth has seen the planet in a way almost no one has. In a workday, she might swim below your home, through conduits in volcanoes or cracks in the world's largest iceberg. She's an explorer, a scientist's eyes and hands underwater—discovering new species and examining our finite freshwater reserves—and a filmmaker documenting the wonders of underwater life. Often the lone woman in a male-dominated domain, she tests the limits of human endurance at every tight turn, risking her life with each mission. To not only survive in this world but excel, Jill has had to learn how to master self-doubt like no other.

Heinerth, Jill. (2019). Into the Planet: My Life as a Cave Diver. New York: Ecco. 

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler is a memoir of growing up queer and mixed race in the US.

Using fascinating sea creatures Imbler teaches us about life in the oceans, lakes and rivers while equating their behavior to times in their life. 

Beginning with the amazing ability of the goldfish to survive inhospitable waters from a dirty bowl to wild lakes and rivers; including the selflessness of an octopus guarding and awaiting the hatching of her eggs; to a swarm equated to the flood of queer New Yorkers during pride, Imbler has written a unique yet universal story of growing up.

This is beautiful memoir. Read it.

Imbler, Sabrina. (2022). How Far the Light Reaches. New York: Little, Brown, and Company.

Hijab Butch Blues

Hijab Butch Blues, written under the alias of Lamya H, is the memoir of a queer Muslim finding their place in the world. 

When Lamya was 4 years old, her family moved from her birth country to a rich Arab country. They moved for a better job for her father. But in the new country, the family had to make changes – her mother could no longer drive, they could go nowhere without being accompanied by her father, and she had to start over at a school where she knew no one. 

At seventeen, Lamya starts over again in the United States, purposely moving away from family for college. 

A devout Muslim, they use the lens of a feminist reading of the Koran as signpost of their life. This is a beautiful memoir of faith, choices and chosen family.

H, Lamya. (2023). Hijab Butch Blues. New York: The Dial Press.

Gender Queer: A Memoir

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe is a beautiful book - both visually and in the story.

Written about eir path to identifying as nonbinary and experiences about gender and sexuality through childhood. Maia wrote this book both as a master's project for eir MFA in Graphic Novels and as a way to explain nonbinary to parents and extended family. 

This is a beautiful memoir. One that will fill a hole in the stories about people with different experiences. It will give young people who may be genderqueer the gift of seeing themselves in a book - an experience that is much needed for everyone. 

There is no book quite like it. E does not shy away from any of the often difficult things that led em to identify as eir true self today. 

For a much more eloquent post about why this book is so amazing and important, click here. In the meantime, please make sure your local library owns a copy, both for people trying to understand a family member and those trying to communicate themselves to others. Thank you Maia for this gift.

Kobabe, Maia. (2019), Gender Queer: A Memoir. Portland: Oni-Lion Forge Publishing Group.

Diamond Doris: The True Story of the World's Most Notorious Jewel Thief

Diamond Doris: The World's Most Notorious Jewel Thief by Doris Payne and Zelda Lockhart is a fun, fast read about a very successful thief.

Doris grew up in West Virginia in a coal mining town. At eight years old, she decided she had to protect her mother from her abusive father. That was also when she decided she would never get married.

Not long after, Doris realized that it was easy to distract the shop person she was talking to, to the point of them losing track of their merchandise. Thus began a seven decade long career that spanned the globe. 

This is a great memoir. Super fun read about a bad ass woman who told a psychologist when asked why she did it, that the jewelers wanted her to take the diamonds to absolve them of thier guilt for selling African diamonds. 

Payne, Doris & Zelda Lockhart. (2019). Diamond Doris: The True Story of the World's Most Notorious Jewel Thief. NY: Amistad. 

Becoming

Becoming by Michelle Obama is a memoir of a Southside Chicago girl who grew up to become a bad ass woman. I listened to this on audiobook, read by the author.

Born into a loving, supportive family, Michelle Robinson demanded excellence of herself from a young age. From going ahead of the assigned piano assignments, to excelling at school, to becoming a lawyer she pushed herself. It may have come from her family lovingly pushing her to do her best. Or her mother and a couple of other moms pulling their kids out a class with a teacher who was too overwhelmed to encourage. Whatever the case, Michelle Robinson was an awesome young woman before she met Barack Obama.

This is a beautifully told tale of growing up, meeting the love of her life, supporting a partner in politics even when she herself never liked politics, becoming the first Black family in the White House, raising two strong, independent daughters, and more. 

Michelle Obama is a powerhouse. This audiobook was a delight to listen to. Once you read/listen, check her out on the Netflix show Waffles and Mochi! 

Obama, Michelle. (2018). Becoming. New York: Crown Publishing.

Crying in H Mart

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner is a memoir of losing a parent and how that leads to her teaching her self to cook Korean food as a cultural pathway to her mother.

Growing up Michelle visited her mother's family in Seoul every other year. They stayed with her grandmother, two aunts and cousins. 

Michelle is most well known as the singer of the band Japanese Breakfast. Which, being Korean American, creates questions each time she is interviewed.

When she looked at her life with her mother she noticed that food was used not just as sustenance but as love. Her mom got sick quickly and did not have time to teach Michelle to cook Korean food. 

Michelle took it upon herself to learn. Using the blog Maangchi, she describes delicious food as she processes her loss and her band's growing popularity. 

Zauner has written a memoir that does not shy away from looking at herself and her family truthfully. She tells the good and bad without glossing over. This is a beautiful book of love, food and grief. 

Zauner, Michelle. (2021). Crying in H Mart. New York: Knopf.

The Sun is a Compass: My 4,000-Mile Journey into the Alaskan Wilds

The Sun is a Compass: My 4,000-Mile Journey into the Alaskan Wilds by Caroline Van Hemert is the story of two people traveling from Bellingham, Washington to the Arctic Circle, ending in Kotzebue wholly under their own power - rowing, skiing, paddling, hiking.

After finishing a degree in biology, that kept her in the lab so long that she needed a trip to remind her of her love of birds and nature. Joined by her husband, Pat, a builder who designed and built his first cabin in Alaska at nineteen, they came up with an ambitious route that they tackled in 2012.

Traveling through the Inside Passage, Coast Mountains, Yukon River, Yukon, Mackenzie Delta, Artic Coast, Brooks Range and Noatak River this was an incredible jouney.

Van Hemert includes information on the birds they see along the way, including the Roufus Hummingbird who has the longest documented migration, there is so much in this adventure for bird lovers. 

Van Hemert, Caroline. (2019). The Sun is a Compass. New York: Little, Brown Sparks. 

The Secret to Superhuman Strength

The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechdel is an illustrated memoir of her life using exercise as the viewpoint.

After a book on her father and one on her mother, Bechdel tells of her relationship to exercise as both a way of being in shape, following the latest fads, and breaking the gender norms of her childhood.

She looks for enlightenment and the exercise for her in her usual light but poignant way. 

Bechdel is the master of the graphic novel form. It is a high art to be able to convey so much in each panel - limited by space that leads to such succinct dialog.  

Bechdel, Alison. (2021). The Secret to Superhuman Strength. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

The Best We Could Do

The Best We Could Do: An Illustrated Memoir by Thi Bui is a beautifully told story of her family history.

This is the story of a Vietnamese family from generations before the American war, to living in the United States to raise the next generation. 

Beginning with the birth of her first child - the first drawing is a very pregnant belly - Thi looks back at her family and their history as she takes on the role of teacher for the next generation. 

The history of Vietnam from colonization, war, politics to her family in a refugee camp and emigrating to the US, this is a beautifully told story of hardship and choices for a better life. 

This is an example of why immigration is beneficial to both the people leaving to start again, and the nation that receives their knowledge and different way of looking at things. Immigration makes a country stronger.

Bui, Thi. (2017). The Best We Could Do. New York: Abrams.

Freshwater

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi is a fictionalized novel based on her life, a quasi-memoir, of living as a plural person.

Ada, born in southern Nigeria, is a trouble prone child due to the ogbanje or spirits to share her body. As is typical of Nigerian parents, Ada is sent abroad for college. She moves to United States.

At college a traumatic event leads to one of the ogbanje taking over Ada's body. Asughara protects Ada but also revels at having a physical body to do with as she pleases.

Written with lyrical prose this difficult tale is moving and beautiful. It is the story of loss and reconciliation, of heartbreak, and of merging the disparate parts into harmony. Emezi is a powerful writer who choses words carfully - resulting in sentences that stop your reading in its tracks so you can savor them. I will read everything they write.

Emezi, Akwaeke. (2018). Freshwater. New York: Grove Press.

On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous

On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong is a beautiful memoir of a Vietnamese American man finding his way in two cultures, caught between two worlds - one at home and one outside of the home.

When he is small, his mother and grandmother move him to the US, to Harford, Connecticut. His father was an American soldier he has not met. He is called Little Dog in the Vietnamese custom of not praising a good looking child and possibly calling trouble.

His mother and grandmother work hard to make sure he can have a good, American life. His story is largely about the relationship between him and them.

Each sentence packs a punch by this poet author. Covering many real topics throughout the story including race, class, masculinity, sexuality, addiction, violence and trauma, and first love. This is powerful storytelling that also about how to tell stories.

Read this beautiful, difficult story.

Vuong, Ocean. (2019). On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous. New York: Penguin Press. 

A Bookshop in Berlin

A Bookshop in Berlin: The Rediscovered Memoir of One Woman's Harrowing Escape from the Nazis by Francoise Frenkel. A true story kept in journals and published years ago, given a second life by Stephanie Smee's English translation.

Francoise Frenkel fell in love with the French language. She notices that there are many French speaking people in Berlin, but there is no place to buy books in French. After many forms and explanitions to government oficals, La Masion du Livre opened in 1921. As Germany changes, Frenkel faces more paperwork and harassment as a foreign, Jewish shop owner.

This incredible tale of keeping one step ahead of the Nazis as she makes her way to safety is the real life story that makes fictional accounts pale. With the help of strangers, family and friends all can be overcome.

Frenkel, Francoise. (2017). A Bookshop in Berlin. New York: Atria Books

You Only Live Twice: Sex, Death and Transition

You Only Live Twice: Sex, Death, and Transition by Chase Joynt and Mike Hoolboom is a memoir of two lives. Written in letters and responses, Chase and Mike tell of their childhood, coming out, transitioning, and second lives in this beautiful biographic novel.

Chase and Mike are, among other things, both film makers who are fans of the cinematographer Chris Marker. The first meet at the Orly airport in Paris where diehard fans gathered to mourn his passing.

Instantly taken with each other, they quickly decide to do a project together - a book of letters, the original style of novel. The result is a beautiful book of two interwoven tales. One of a trans man finding his way. And one of a man who finds out he is HIV-positive.

Chase or Mike begin a topic, and the other either tells his story, or comments on what was written by the first. Both are excellent writers able to capture feelings in words.

This is a beautiful book. Read it.

Joynt, Chase and Mike Hoolboom. (2016). You Only Live Twice: Sex, Death, and Transition. Toronto: Coach House Books.

Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamout Sellout

Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamout Sellout by Laura Jane Grace and Dan Ozzi is an autobiography of my favorite punk singer, the front woman of Against Me!

Laura Jane Grace is as famous for being transgendered as she is for her music. But it took her a long time to come to terms that she was born into the wrong body. There were hints in her music along the way, but it was a long time before she could admit to herself who she really was. And a long road from there to coming out and transitioning.

This is a raw, wide-open, memoir. Laura has kept journals since elementary school. With the help of Dan Ozzi, she puts her story down on paper, not skipping the hard parts - including drug abuse, being called a sellout for signing with a record label, and becoming a parent.

She chose the title as a statement. Very punk of her, but as it is a bigoted slur, she now cringes to hear others used the word that has not yet been fully reclaimed by the trans community.

This may be the most honest memoir you will ever read. Also, LGJ is flawless on stage - born to play the guitar for a crowd of screaming fans. She is also the author of one of my all time favorite albums: New Wave by Against Me!

Grace, Laura Jane. (2016). Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock's Most Infamous Sellout. New York: Hatchet Books.

Honor Girl

Honor Girl by Maggie Thrash is an autobiographical graphic novel of the summer she figured out that she likes girls - and the first girl she loved.

Maggie spent every summer at Camp Bellflower for Girls in Appalachia. Most of the other girls at the camp are from Kentucky, but her parents drive her from Atlanta. Her mother and her grandmother went to Camp Bellflower and Maggie is sure that nothing has changed in the entire history of the camp.

Each morning the girls start their day with a Civil War reenactment, where they yell Gray and Blue at each other for twenty minutes. The girls are separated by age and choose activities for the summer. Maggie is improving her shooting skills and is one of two girls competing for an award.

Maggie is joined by a cast of girls, from her best friend Shannon, to her new friend Tennis Bethany, to her first love Erin, in this lovely coming out story. Thrash tells her story with wit and sensitivity. Though it has a different feel, fans of Alison Bechdel's Fun Home will delight this novel.

Thrash, Maggie. (2015). Honor Girl. New York: Candlewick Press.

The Pregnancy Project: A Memoir

The Pregnancy Project: A Memoir by Gaby Rodriguez is the story of one young woman faking a pregnancy during high school to study people's reactions.

Gaby Rodriguez grew up in a family where her older siblings were setting a trend of becoming teen parents. Gaby felt like it was expected that she would follow this pattern, but she had already decided she wanted to go a different route - college.

When considering her upcoming senior project - on a topic of her choosing - one of her brothers made a comment. He said that he drank because his father drank. It was genetic. He got Gaby to thinking about who people are perceived by others and the stereotypes that form - and that people did not have to live up to.

Convincing her school to let her do the project, she told only a few people what she was planning. Her boyfriend had to be in on the secret. Her mother knew. And one sister and one friend from school who could keep track of the comments said about her. Gaby was convinced she could handle the comments because the pregnancy would not be real.

The Pregnancy Project is the story of Gaby's project and how people reacted - both during and after she announced the truth. Her project gained so much attention that she ended up on nation wide news and Lifetime made a movie about her story.

Rodriguez, Gaby and Jenna Glatzer. (2012). The Pregnancy Project: A Memoir. New York: Simon and Schuster.